Saturday, July 02, 2005

It's such a good feeling, a very good feeling...

I don't even know how to begin. Despite all the mean, mean things the television people said about me, War of the Worlds did really well in the box office! When I heard the news, I was so happy, I had to take some vitamins to calm me down! People had said, "oh, he's weird", and "War of the Worlds sucks!", but as I said to Katie, who's sucking now? See! Who's sucking now? She was right -- my ever-charming smile came through for me, yet again. Let this be a lesson to my enemies -- I am invincible! Indefeatable! I am Tom Cruise, hear me roar! Rest assured, we shall build many Churches with the money you have so generously donated.

However, this isn't all I wanted to tell you about. The other day, while Katie and I were playing a good-old-fashioned game of naked basketball, I got a phonecall. It was from Ben (Affleck) -- he called to tell me he and Jennifer (Garner) had just gotten married! I couldn't believe it. I mean, is it really possible for two celebrities to have a relationship without being everywhere in the public eye? Katie picked up the extension, and she congratulated Ben. We're both so happy for him and Jen. Hopefully my fiancee and I will be able to tie the knot in similar fashion someday. I have to admit, I had been a little worried when I first found out they were thinking of getting married. After all, they hadn't known each other for very long, you know? But now that they're officially husband and wife, it just makes sense. Love is an awesomely awesome thing.

Oh, but you know what the wildest part is? They're even going to have a baby! I...well, I have a bit of a secret. I don't actually know where babies come from. I mean, Nicole tried to show me many times during our ten years of celibacy/marriage, but I never quite got the hang of it. The Church of Scientology told me something about a stork, which sounded kind of strange at first, but I guess it must be true. I mean, the Church would never lie to me, would they? So, I don't know how Katie and I are going to have children, but I'm sure the stork will come when it sees how much we love each other. Katie said she wants five kids. I just hope that stork doesn't get tired from flying back and forth with lots of little TomKats, LOL!

Whoops - I've got to go. My fiancée and I are going to practice kissing, so we won't look so stiff the next time we try it in public -- Gawd, I don't know why kissing girls is so awkward for me! It's like trying to find your way out of a dark closet...arms and legs and sweaty bodies everywhere. I've got to get used to this, before the gardener and the cabana boy start spreading naughty rumors. If anyone tells you a story about nude fencing (without sabers), it's totally a lie. Well, tata for now! Oh, and if you get bored this weekend, go see WOTW again! We're trying to build a scale replica of the Eiffel Tower outside our beachhouse in the Bahamas, so Katie and I can always remember the place where we declared our love for each other.

Won't you be my neighbor?
Tom (TopGunner) Cruise.

Oh, and it's my birthday tomorrow. Go me! -- the big 43!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha -- tom, stop watching mr. rogers neighborhood.

9:33 PM  
Anonymous susie said...

then again, the guy *does* talk about sharing and stuff. it could do him som e good.

9:34 PM  
Anonymous rob thomas said...

you don't know where babies come from?

man, that's embarrassing. even for you, dude.

/*so* not your butt buddy anymore.

9:36 PM  
Anonymous rob thomas said...

wait -- i didn't mean to send that!!

tom, i still have...feelings for you. don't hate me. you said you loved me last night. i know you did.

you've got to come over again -- i don't care what anyone says! we're meant to be together, man!

9:37 PM  
Anonymous penelope said...

"Gawd, I don't know why kissing girls is so awkward for me! It's like trying to find your way out of a dark closet...arms and legs and sweaty bodies everywhere."

i still think you're straight tom, but when you write things like's kinda sketchy!

still your biggest fan though!

9:39 PM  
Anonymous the gardener said...

I was watering the roses bush the other day... thinking of you. How you doin'? It's been a while. You don't want to play with my garden hose anymore?

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Chris Klein said...

I'll still be Katie's stork

12:01 AM  
Anonymous The Electrician said...

Hey Tom - Babies are made when you stick a wet fork into an eletrical outlet. Make sure it's a scientology fork though.

3:19 AM  
Anonymous A Curious Reader said...

If the Church of Scientology commanded you to eat babies, would you do it? My guess is yes :(

5:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah you need help man. Take some Melatonin to calm you down. You totally have ADHD. And guess what? it is natural! Organic! Dude, you totally need to calm down.. you are scaring the world. I miss you and Nicole. Why did u2 divorce? u2 were perfect together!

11:01 AM  
Anonymous katie holmes herself said...

tom! i still looooove uuuu sooo much! happy birthday baby! i've got a special suprise for you when you get home!

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to the person who asked if tom would eat a baby...i'm quite sure he would. the church of scientology would probably then blame it on a dingo :^(

7:00 PM  
Anonymous nicole said...

happy birthday tom.

still your friend,

7:05 PM  
Anonymous george clooney said...

i hate you, christian bale! i'm a better batman -- i am, i am!

8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, george?

this is a tom cruise message board.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous greg from "dharma and greg" said...

lol...i dig the mister rogers reference. who knew "tom cruise" had a sense of humor?

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Anonymous george clooney said...

My bad, I always get the two mixed up.

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Anonymous Steven Spielberg said...

You are so f****** lucky WOTW has done well so far Tom. I was ready to take your first-born (oh my bad, your first adopted Mr. Low Sperm Count). I'm never working with you again, you insane vitamin pusher.

2:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a fucking waste of time. I hope no one actually believes that what they are reading is really Tom Cruise. I hope deep down inside that this whole thing is just a joke. For those of you who actually believe this thing is for real, in the words of Mr. Dynamite....Freakin' Idiots!! Gosh!!

6:30 AM  
Anonymous Krista said...

um.... mr. "I don't have a sense of humor"... there is indeed a disclaimer on the front of the page. Now go away and let the grown-ups have their fun.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Tom Cruise

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Anonymous Jaded Fan said...

Blah blah blah you're so happy Tom. Who cares. Goodness knows if you actually had a stable lasting heterosexual relationship it would be a sign of the Second Coming.

3:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey TOM
hope everything is fine wid u
well u really dont kno 4m where babies cum 4m umm........... thts a real serious probs.. maybe katie can teach u this or u may c it urself when katie delivers urs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY i kno i m quite late 2 wish u but still..

i luv u God bless u n katie

always urs

6:28 AM  
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Blogger Brah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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Blogger Patrick Roach said...


Humans did not come to earth on spaceships. A publicity romance is lame. And...mental illness does exist, as evinced by your antics on Oprah.

Go have fun with your cult, and leave the public out of it.

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Blogger LonelygirlPR said...

This is of the funniest blogs I've read...Keep it up "Tom!"

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So funny! Loved it!

You're gonna get your ass suuued...

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Dan said...

this is one of the funniest things i've ever seen.... no joke.

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Blogger dav1e said...

I dont think this relationship would last. I mean Tom seems like her father!


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Anonymous jennifer garner said...

Aww thanks Tom

Love ya too!!!!!

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are such a genius.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tom i love you soooooo much and i'll always be your number one fan. You and katie looks great together i love learning about scientology people are saying mean things about you.YOU AND KATEI ROCKY SCIENTOLOGY IS COOL i've learnt alot of important imformation my friends thinks i'm Crazy i LOVE yOU TOM

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TOM CRUISE – The truth behind

One year ago three things happened that -seriously- changed the world: Tom Cruise jumped on the couch at Oprah's, in happiness, declaring his love for Katie. He made some comments about a well known actress for promoting dangerous mind altering psychiatric drugs in her book. And he exposed publicly the covert multibillion dollar fraud that psychiatrists and the pharmaceuticals have built in a controversial TV interview.

Ever since, the media and the blogs have been filled with lies, lies and more lies about Tom and his very words have been twisted once and again to convey things he never said. I want to illustrate how insane this whole thing has become:

Lie #1 - His romance with Katie had just been made up in order to promote his movie War of the Worlds. This one needs no comment at all. As if he, the biggest star in the world, needed that.

Lie #2 - Tom and Katie are splitting. This actually keeps being published once and again, so it has been a recurrent lie.

Lie #3 - Katie wasn't really pregnant but she was faking it all.

Lie #4 - Katie was not going to be allowed to make any noise at all at the delivery. The true silent birth is about everybody around the mother keeping as quiet as possible, so that the birth can take place in a quiet, calm environment. It's that simple. All the rest were just more invented lies.

Lie #5 - He was going to eat placenta. He made a joke that was really funny on a TV interview about eating placenta and the day after the media all over the world were reporting that he was seriously going to eat placenta when it was very clearly a joke he made on a TV interview. It's very obvious here that somebody intendedly twisted what really happened and spread it around throught one of those agencies that supply news to the media intenationally. The intention is also very obvious. They wanted to make Tom look like a a fool. They wanted to create the perception that he is nuts. Who? Why? We will get to that later.

Lie #6 - Tom was awarded an Ernie Award in Australia for having done some sexist comments. It was later discovered that he had never made such comments. Somebody else invented them!!! But nobody apologized.

Lie #7 - After the birth Tom and Katie were hiding Suri not only from the public from their very friends. Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, Leah Remini, Penelope Cruz and others explained how they had met Suri.

Lie #8 - Suri didn't exist. Have you seen the beautiful family pictures published in Vanity Fair?

Lie #9 - Katie's family didn't get along with Tom and they were having real trouble and upsets between the families. Vanity Fair editor Jane Sarkin spent 5 days last summer with the whole family at Tom's house in Telluride and she says they were all getting along great. Katie's parents and siblings were there. Tom's mother, sister and children were there too. They were just a big famiy.

Lie #10 - Tom was just waiting to create enough media interest in order to be able to get more money than Brangelina for the pictures of his baby. Vanity Fair editor declares there was no money involved at all in the pictures. They paid zero for them.

I could go on and on writing lies that have been invented and spread around for a whole year now but is it really necessary? I think the point has been made - no actor has ever been subject to such a wild, wide, evil and long lasting black PR attack campaign that I can remember.

We are getting to the juicy part now. Why? Who is behind this all? Who could be interested in orchestrating such a long black PR operation in order to destroy Tom Cruise? And again, Why? In short, what is the truth behind it all?

I saw Tom jumping on the couch at Oprah and I loved it. The public who attended the show also loved it. It was hilarious. Entertainment at its best. Was that a crime? Did he hurt somebody so bad by doing it that they now wanted to get this far to destroy him? It doesn't make sense. This is not it.

Was the actress he critizised for promoting dangerous anti-depressants in her book so upset and so evil that she was now moving earth and hell in order to destroy him? This doesn't make sense either. This actress we all know since she was a kid is not like that. This is definitely not the truth behind.

So what do we have left? The public exposure of the covert multibillion dollar fraud that psychiatry and the pharmaceuticals have built together by the brave Tom Cruise in a TV interview.

He could just have sat back and enjoyed his fortune but he is concerned about one of the greatest catastrophies in the history of mankind and tried to do something about it in spite of risking it all. Besides other documented abuses and violations of the Human Rights, psychs are drugging millions of american children at schools for made up reasons. Many of them are not even 5 y.o. And also outside schools they are drugging children who are barely 1 y.o. This is huge!

After Tom's exposure of the psych drug fraud last year the FDA ordered those anti-depresants to carry black labels warning citizens that they can cause suicide, violence, psychosis, mania, heart attacks and sudden death and sales of such anti-depressants fell a 20% - it seems like the psychs & the pharmaceuticals have not forgiven Tom for having cut their income which is higher than $76 billions a year a 20% down. That must have hurt. It's a hell of a lot of money!

Just recently we all heard about the noisy split between Paramount (owned by Viacom) and Tom. Why was Cruise slamed by Viacom's head when he had made 1 billion for them in the last year just with his last two movies War of the Worlds and MI3? Well, the amount of money made by the movie industry is peanuts compared to the amount of money made by the pharmaceutical industry. In fact, it happens that William Gray, who is part of Viacom's board of directors, is also on the board of Pfizer (the largest pharmaceutical company by 2004 sales). And Ivan Seidenberg, who is also part of Viacom’s board of directors, is on the board of Wyeth (the 10th largest pharmaceutical company by 2004 sales). You are free to pull the string if you want to know the whole truth... you may be very surprised.

By the way, it seems that Viacom's shares fell as much as a 10% after the whole thing...

Psychiatry and the pharmaceuticals sure have the resources to create such a huge media wave in an attempt to destroy Tom Cruise, who is puting their risky business in danger just by unveiling the truth. If they were not doing anything wrong why sould they care about him and about what he said?

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